Spring Break the Finale

Do you have a child who sleeps when other people are around?  A child who can pass out from sheer exhaustion? Does your child interrupt your party to say, it’s time for him/her to go to bed?  Is your child most likely to have her bra frozen at a sleepover?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you don’t know Duckie!  (In my “You don’t know AARP” voice)

There is not one time I can look back on when she fell asleep while the party was still going.  Even when she was an infant, I’d see other babies just conk out on their parent’s shoulder or lap.  I’ve no idea what that feels like.  

Duckie slept in a moving stroller outdoors on lengthy excursions and in her room with the lights off.  That’s all it’s ever been.  If you want your kid to sleep, don’t invite Duckie for a sleep over.  If you want your kid to wind down, leave the party that Duckie is attending.   We once gave her Benadryl on a 13 hour flight.  Little known fact:  For a small percentage of the population Benadryl is an upper.  Guess who is part of the teeny, tiny percentage?

She was asleep.  No one was around

In the Caribbean after being left alone she finally gave in to a mid day nap

Six years in, I’ve accepted her for the party gal that she is and likely will always be.  To her, if there are people around, it’s the equivalent of the sun shining brightly.  It can’t be bedtime. When she does sleep, she normally goes down for a good 11-12 hours.  So I’m not mad at that.  Hubby and I are parents who actually have alone time.  But what happens when it’s just me and the kid?

Mommies don’t get boring.  At least not boring enough for Duckie to decide to sleep rather than spend 2 hours in our hotel room in Islamorada, doing everything possible to stay awake while simultaneously annoying me.  Then, as is her way in the company of others, she was up bright and early.  Did I mention that when she does not get her 11-12 hours of sleep per night she gradually turns into a Wildling? 

The following night we woke up at 5am to catch our flight from Fort Lauderdale to DC.  She’d clocked about 9 hours of sleep.  The next night, I had the distinct pleasure of sharing a room and bed with her at my brother’s house.  I waited until she was knocked out to get into the bed.  She slept pretty well, while kicking, pushing and kneeing me at all times.  At one point she reach out grabbed my scalp, dug her nails in and pulled.  Hmm … maybe she wasn’t really sleeping.

Anyway, she probably slept 9 or 10 hours that night.  The cumulative effect of several nights with not enough sleep were evident as we explored DC.  On the way into the White House she was convinced that I and all the members of the CIA were directing her to the wrong place, since that white building across the street must be the White House.  (Fact you already know: Every building near or on the National Mall is white.) Once inside she hopped and skipped and pranced her way through, which is what she did on our previous tour while singing “Ring Around the Rosie” as loud as possible.  Fortunately, this time the tour was self-guided, unlike the tour we did three years ago. So this time her shenanigans did not disturb anyone.  Whew!

But by the time we finished lunch at The Hamilton and walked to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, I was at my breaking point.  I had a delusion of taking to her to this awesome museum filled with rocket ships and she’d be like, “Aw mom, this is the greatest place on earth.  I can’t wait to learn how everything works!”  Instead she said, “This place is awesome” and proceeded to run from one exhibit to another, never taking a moment to absorb any information. Reading, which she recently became very good at, was not an activity in which she was willing to engage.  We got to go inside an actual space ship at her demand.  And she was in and out in under 10 seconds.  It was like she was checking off a 6 year-old’s bucket list of “Places I’ve never run through before.” 

Having been bombarded with non-stop questions about the itinerary for the last 3 days (Mom, when do we go to the White House? Mom do we go to the White House today or tomorrow?  Mom, you forgot to tell me when we are going to the White House!)  I was too burnt out to deal with, Mom can we go to this part of the museum? Mom where are we going after the museum? And on and on.  Fortunately, Hubby had joined us just before the White House Tour and seeing the glued on look of frustration on my face he said, “You need a break.” 

 

Typewriter Eraser at the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Park

Fountain at Sculpture Park

Truer words had never been spoken.  Luckily for me, I did see enough of this coming to book us a room at Embassy Suites DC Convention Center.  Because if I had to sleep in the same room with the Wildling for another night I might had truly lost it.  Instead, the hotel had happy hour at 5:30pm.  Me and my sangria found our way to relaxation.   We were joined by a friend for drinks and then dinner and then we were passed out by 9:30pm.  And little Miss Wildling, was nice and cozy sleeping alone in the dark on the pull out sofa in the next room!  Ah! Peace is a two room suite for $190.   Bonus points for the free made to order breakfast.  (Better in New Orleans than DC but, free is for me.)

Take away:  It seemed like a really nice idea to have an extended spring vacation (10 days).  It also seemed like a cool idea to have most of that be just mommy and daughter.   Independently these could be good ideas.  Together, bad idea!  I’m still detoxing.  10 straight full days of parenting is really too much, particularly once the child can talk, think and form ideas.  I’m just sayin!

If you’d like to visit the White House, you’ll need to make a request through your Congressperson (senator or representative).  Most requests can be made via their websites or email.  You should make your request as far in advance as possible to increase the likelihood of having it approved.  You will not be notified of approval until approximately 2 weeks before. But again if you request more than 6 weeks in advance and avoid peak season (i.e. summer) you’ll get what you’ve requested.

Well I’ve been away for 10 days and the world didn’t wait for me to come back.  So I’ve gotta go lots to do (like schedule “me time.”)  Talk soon …. BMK

Doing Spring Break Differently

I spent my 20s traveling on my own and with friends.  There was a stretch where I traveled at least once a month, usually coming to work on a Monday straight from the airport.  Then I met “Him” and he loved to travel so we got married and traveled together.  Then Duckie came along and we became a traveling trio. Shortly after she turned one, I started working for myself and as two self-employed parents with and infant/toddler/preschooler, we were free to travel whenever we wanted (and finances allowed).  With the exception our annual wedding anniversary trip, everywhere we went, Duckie went. 

Then first grade happened and we found ourselves planning vacations around the school calendar (though, I’m changing my mind about this.)  Then Hubby, left the self-employed world and joined the corporate world.   Our traveling trio schedule was completely up-ended.  So it was time to get creative. 

Duckie decided months ago that if it was spring break, it meant we would go to New Orleans.  This is what we did last year, when her break coincided with Easter.  We had an absolutely great trip.  And despite doing only two kid oriented things (The Easter parade which was as fun for adults as kids, and the children’s museum, for which she was nearly too big), Duckie loved New Orleans and has talked about it all year.   She’s the biggest foodie in the family so, I guess it makes sense.

Partying in New Orleans 2015

But I couldn’t fathom reliving that family trip without one-third of our trio.  And Hubby would not be able to take a week off of work.  In addition, going to NO meant paying for hotels and flights, both of which were high priced for spring break, and eating all meals out.  Normally, I’d be a proponent of renting an apartment, but in New Orleans, I don’t believe in cooking.  There is just too much good food out there waiting to be eaten. Anyway, try explaining all of this to a 6 year old.  It ends like this, “Yup, that’s interesting.  Still want to go to New Orleans.  I’ll go pack.”

So I had to change strategies.  I knew if we went to Florida and stayed at Villa Pompano, we could not only save money but also there was a good chance, Hubby could join us for a weekend.  But to a travel spoiled child, suggesting that you go to the Florida house which is your default vacation spot, wont’ fly.  So I set out to add something irresistible. 

Spoiled travel child’s primary complaint is that we don’t take her to Islands.  We go there on anniversary trips and leave poor her home to be spoiled by grandparents.  So I decided to plan a side trip to the Florida Keys when Hubby left us to return to NJ.  Despite having been back and forth to Key West a few times with Hubby, I bought the Top Ten guide book to see what family things one could do in the keys.  And bingo!  Swim with the dolphins.  Oh wait, that cost over $100 per person.  So I pivoted to swimming with the stingrays, $65, yes!  I made the grand announcement to Duckie and expecting the confused look on her face, I had pulled up a YouTube video to show her what exactly is a stingray.  The desired ooohs and aaaahs followed.  Score!

So I booked us a hotel in Islamorada, one of the higher keys about a 2 hour drive from Pompano Beach/Ft. Lauderdale.  Again, spring break pricing was in effect so I booked just one night at a hotel that meant my exacting standards.  Only open for a year, the Amara Cay is a boutique styled hotel with a funky lobby filled with swinging chairs leading to a full bar and indoor/outdoor restaurant.  Outside another bar serves the warm pool and private beach area with drinks and meals.  And there is even a small playground on the beach.  The rooms are bright and sunny with beds featuring only white linens (of course) and the bathrooms, while small have a large walk in shower.  The coolest feature is the hotel shuttle.  A Mercedes van that will take guests to most destinations on the island.  This alleviates having to map out every destination and stress about driving while on vacation.

After we arrived, we grabbed a quick lunch on the beach and set out for the Theater of the Seas for our swim with the sting rays.  During the two months from when I told Duckie about this plan until our arrival, she told everyone she knew and didn’t know about how she was going to swim with the sting rays. 

Now faced with nearly a dozen small and medium sized rays, she was less enthusiastic.  Fear is not in Duckies vocabulary.  Thus, when faced with something she doesn’t want to do, you can almost she hear brain working to figure out a logical suggestion for why we should not participate.  Fortunately, this program was very kid friendly.  The first step is to sit at the edge of the water and feed the sting rays.  Duckie was not too excited about that because their mouths are below their bodies and not visible.  But after I fed a few fish to a few rays and petted them, I could see her curiosity peak.  I held her hand and coached her on how to feed them.  After a few minutes she was comfortable. Then the guides asked if we were ready to snorkel.  I was pretty sure that was a no go.  But they wisely, suggested we just stand up with the masks on in the deeper water and put our faces in.  This was perfect as Duckie was able to see not only the sting rays but a wide variety of fish and even a giant lobster creeping along the bottom.  And Duckie being Duckie she is now bragging that she swam with the sting rays! 

Post Sting Ray Swim

Before leaving she watched and participated in the sea lion show.  She got to throw a ring and the sea lion caught it around his neck.  There was also a glass bottom boat ride, dolphin show and parrot show.  Plus a tour will take you around to see the sea turtles, alligators, sharks and other sea animals.  All the animals are rescues.  Many are handicapped like the turtles that have attached flotation devices to help them balance.  We didn’t have time to do everything, but I thought it was a great opportunity for Duckie to appreciate imperfection and the importance of caring for our environment.

We spent the remainder of our time eating, of course.  We had a delicious (but expensive) gourmet meal at Chef Michael’s restaurant.  The menu includes several fish which can be prepared many different ways.  I had escargot followed by hogfish stuff with crabmeat, capers and shitake, topped with key lime butter.  Yum!  Duckie had the largest kid’s menu bowl of pasta every.   She took pride in eating everything.  There is no way I could have eaten all of that pasta and walked out of the restaurant. 

Having spent enough on dinner we took the shuttle bus to an ice cream shop for dessert, just to keep the gluttony going.  Then we slept (not an easy thing to get Duckie to do when sharing a room) and woke up to follow our morning swim with more food.  Breakfast was at the Trip Advisor top rated Mangrove Mikes.  I was shocked to see gluten-free pancakes on the menu.  We were still in the South.  The pancakes were very good.  I was apparently pushing it when I noticed soy milk was on the menu and asked to have it in my cappuccino.  The waitress, gave me some scary explanation of how the milk is already mixed in, so it could not be switched to soy.  Huh?  What?  I figured it best to forgo this line of questioning.

After our yummy meal we hit the road, stopped at the sandal factory to get a new pair of flip flops for Duckie and of course made a quick stop at the Starbucks on Key Largo in route back to Pompano Beach.

All in all we had a great 24 hour girl’s vacation.  And after a week in Florida, we packed our bags, got too little sleep and are now on a flight to DC.  Irresistible Spring break part two, Obama’s House.  Stay tuned.

Gotta go, landing soon.  Let’s talk later … BMK

I Know You Don’t Want to Talk About This Anymore Than I Do …

There are some topics I’m happy to discuss and read about, child sexual abuse is not one of those topics.  In fact, when I received an email from my local YMCA this week on the topic, I didn’t want to read it.  My first reaction was to quickly delete, since it wasn’t announcing any special events or programs in which I wanted to partake.  The email was acknowledging the Y’s participation in Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month and its commitment to making sure its staff are safe for our children.

I did close the email.  And then I forced myself to open it and read it, carefully.  My initial reaction surprised me.  I’ve read plenty of articles about how to talk to children about protecting their bodies and privacy.  I’ve gone back and forth with using the real terms for discussions of private parts and for using more cutesie terms.  Mostly, I’ve made sure to have the conversations with Duckie about what is not OK for someone to do to her. 

But as I clicked through to the link for the organization Darkness to Light, it was clear that the person I haven’t been talking to is me.  The site makes its crystal clear that as an adult society we are comfortable arming our kids with information and trusting that they will A: defend themselves and/or B: tell us when there is a problem.  So in a nutshell we are saying it’s up to them to prevent and report. 

But statics show the likelihood of this happening, especially the reporting is very very low.  Something I should know, because I certainly never spoke up.  I was around the same age as Duckie is now.  And a teenage neighbor shamed me into not saying anything and into continuing to participate.  I have no idea how long it when on.  In fact, for years after deciding not to say anything, I pretty much forgot about.  He moved away and I didn’t have to deal.  I didn’t have to make up excuses to avoid him and his family.  So I chose to get rid of the shame by getting rid of the memory.  But shortly before I got married, I saw a film on the topic and it opened the memory flood gate.  Still I kept quiet.  I’ve only really discussed it with my husband, in relation to how to protect our daughter.

And by no means did I ever intend to share it here.  But if you are gonna talk the talk, you’ve gotta walk the walk, right?  So I set about learning what I’m sure my family didn’t know all those years ago.  Here are some excerpts from Darkness to Light’s website and brochures:

It's unrealistic to expect a six- year-old to fend off sexual advances from an adult relative. Children often cannot recognize sexual advances for what they are, and have been taught to “mind” adults who are authority figures.

1 in 10 children are abused, which means it’s likely we all know a child who is being abused.

Youth are 2.5 times more likely than adults to be raped. 40 % of victims are age 11 and younger.

Most child victims never report abuse.

90% of child victims are abused by someone they know.  40% are abused by an older/larger youth (like babysitters or cousins).

Eliminate/reduce one-on-one situations between your child and another adult or older youth.

Ensure the programs in which your child participates have anti-isolation policies and background checks. 

Listen and ask only opened ended questions when a child discloses to you and always report it to the police or anonymous child abuse hotline.

The abuser may try to confuse the child about right and wrong, or may try to shame them.

Explain to children that secrets are harmful and that if someone asks them to keep one, they should tell you.

Tell children it’s not okay for adults or older youth to use sexual language with them.

And most importantly have an on-going conversation with your kids about sexual abuse and when age appropriate about sex (probably younger than you think).

Darkness to Light 1in 10 video 

The YMCA also offers a helpful tip in their brochure on child sexual abuse:

Listen and watch for signs of your child receiving special attention that other children or teens are not receiving, including favors, treats, gifts, rides, increasing affection or time alone, particularly outside the activities of school, child care, or other activities.

It’s clear to me that I have a lot more work to do in my conversations with Duckie and in my own vigilance.  I don’t want her to live in fear.  And, I don’t want her to give up her sparkling, friendly personality.  So the onus is on me to protect her and all the children in our lives.

Well, that’s all for today.  Very somber but very important.  No room for jokes.  This topic triggers my flight response.  But luckily, I’m on a flight to sunny Florida right now. That means my next post is bound to be much happier.  Cellphones off, tray tables up! -BMK

Resources

Darkness to Light

http://www.d2l.org/

Prevent Child Abuse – New Jersey

1-800-CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373)

www.PreventchildabuseNJ.org

Stop It Now

1-888-Prevent (1-888-773-8368)

www.stopitnow.org

Child Help USA

1-800-422-4453

www.childhelpusa.org

The National Children’s Advocacy Center

256-533-0531

www.nationalcac.org

The Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers

503-643-1023

www.atsa.org

Oh Something New From Google! (And it involves travel)

It’s no secret that I love travel planning almost as much as traveling.  And it’s also no secret that I love apps. Plus, you may well know I’m a devoted Googlite/Googlist/Google Aficionado/Googliever aka Google lover.  So when I read this article about a new Google App for travel planning, I was like, “Awesome Sauce!” (Because I mostly speak 6 year old)

It’s called Destinations by Google.  It’s designed for use on smart phones but also works on the computer.  The good news is you most likely don’t need to download anything, especially if you have an Android phone.  But even if you pray to the Apple gods, you only need the regular Google App, which you likely already have. 

To start you open the app or simply type in the Google Search bar on your phone. Then you have a few options:

1.      You have an idea of a destination but not a specific city, type in the area + destinations.  For example: Italy destinations

2.      You know where you want to go type in city + vacation.  For example: Seattle vacation

3.      You want to go to multiple destination type in place + travel or place + vacation. For example: Ireland Travel.  (You will see travel guides for multiple cities and Google maps can give you walking, driving and public transportation directions.

I would like to go see my beloved Seahawks in person, so I can congratulate Russell Wilson on his engagement.  (Surely, he will answer the door when I come a knocking.)  I’d like to take a trip in November when school is out for two days, for goodness knows what. So I picked up my phone and typed into the Google bar: Seattle vacation.

Here’s what popped up:

I was given a quick overview of Seattle and why one might want to visit.  Below that was weather info followed by hotel and flight pricing.  I clicked through to see flight options first.  

I was able to input my November 9 – 13^th desired dates and adjusted my departure airport.  Then I was presented first with what Google determined were the best options (this appears to be based on the best priced non-stop flights).  Below that were additional options (more expensive or requiring multiple flights).  Outbound flights are displayed first, once one is selected a return flight can be selected.  Pricing stays on the screen through each selection.  Once my flights were selected, I was given a phone number and link for United, which I could use to book the flights.  In reality, I would not have clicked the link for this itinerary because one flight was on United, the other on Alaska Airlines.  In my experience its best to book directly with each airline unless you are using miles.

Next, I back tracked to get to hotels (though it would have been quicker to just Google “Seattle vacations” again.  Once I clicked through, I was shown the links to several hotel booking sites. But also the prices of several hotels, their star ratings and their photos.  I was able to adjust the travel dates to see accurate rates.  Only one problem, the hotel calendar maxes out at 6 months in the future.  So I could not put in my November travel dates.  So if I wanted to continue planning, I’d have to go back to one of the hotel booking site links instead of continuing in the Google displays. 

Lastly, I checked out the travel guides.  The original “Seattle vacation” results include photos and links to a few points of interest.  The drop down for the travel guide, displays several itineraries from which to choose.  For example, 48 hours in Seattle.  I never follow them, but I do love to view an itinerary and pick and choose what I like. 

Overall it’s a neat tool, which allows people like me to view lots of details for travel planning, all in one place.  Before, I’d go from site to site or app to app trying to piece it all together and ultimately wait to put it all together until I could do it more comfortably from my computer.  Now, I have something to do while waiting in the doctor’s office, watching swim lessons or zoning out when Hubby is watching another reality show about cars, hunting or outdoor living in some inconvenient place for no good reason!

Ummmm, wish I had a flight to catch right now.  But soon enough, I’ll be flying the friendly skies. So I better get packing or Duckie will have my head (She likes to pack as far in advance as humanly possible).  Talk soon.  - BMK

#freethenipple

After far more deliberation than I ever thought I would have given it,  I've decided I'm team Kim K.   Well, at least on this one issue.   Hear me out...

I don't agree with a lot of what this younger generation of celebrity seems to think is appropriate and what they are willing to do to make a buck.   I love some of Selena Gomez' songs but watching a video of her writhing around on a bed in a bra and panties or just a tee shirt feels like viewing child porn.   And at this point, if you are a woman with your clothes on in a music video,  you are probably making a political statement. I hate the thought that talent is valued far less than nudity and photo-shopped beauty.

At the same time,  I'm totally on board with a woman's right to be sexy.  And the idea that in our real lives we tell our daughters to avoid dressing a certain way, to avoid the rapist.  Then we turn around and say don't blame the victim.   Didn't we just train our girls to accept that they are responsible for what they attract? 

So the whole blow back on Kim K's nude photo is that she's a mom now and therefore it is inappropriate. Also she's sending a bad message to her young fans. 

I'll admit my first reaction was,  oh boy (and why are we supposed to be surprised).   The whole thing seems unnecessary.  I've never felt the need to pose nude,  let alone post a nude selfie. My second reaction was pissed off because the photo she posted was pre-baby.  She failed to mention that in the original post, leaving other moms to feel like failures if they didn't look that good a few weeks after childbirth.   My opinion on that has not changed.

However, in the final analysis,  this is who she is.  A woman who has always been very comfortable showing her body and in many cases profiting from it.   But we live in a free country that guarantees freedom of speech and expression.   And her idea of being a mom is that she gets to continue celebrating her body.   Sure she may have purchased many of those body parts.  But they are now hers to show as she wishes.

So who finally swayed my way of thinking on this? Surprisingly, Amber Rose.   This woman whose claim to fame I understand less than Kim K's, and who has every reason to not like the wife of her ex,  came to Kim's defense.   She defended the right,  and feminist position,  of a woman to not be slut shamed for being proud of her body. As a self proclaimed feminist, and husband proclaimed  Angry Black Feminist, I had to check myself.

I may not agree with her decision to post and certainly wouldn't do so myself,  but she's free to do her.   Personally I hate wearing bras and pantyhose. I consider them to be my sworn enemy.   I give in and wear a bra when my top is too thin, or I'm going to an event where I might make others uncomfortable.   But that's stupid too.  They're my breast and what law am I breaking?   I'm not interested in being topless.  I just don't like cutting off my circulation to conceal my headlights.

Amber Rose and I seem to have that in common.   She posted this photo on twitter for the  #freethenipple movement which is now diversifying to include women of color. The movement highlights the way women are made to feel ashamed of their bodies.  For example it's illegal to breastfeed or be topless in 35 states.   And yes it is 2016.  (But I didn't put the actual photos in this post, only the links, because you might get in trouble at work for viewing them!)

Many men think the feminist movement is anti-man.  Not only is that not true, many of the harshest critics of women are other women.  So let's put an end to slut-shaming for our daughter's sake.  It's our job to encourage our children to share our morals and to show good taste.  But it's not our job to ridicule and pass judgement on others for their choices, which ultimately affect them and not us. 

Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose in one post!  If I keep this up y'all might actually think I'm hip.  That is until I use words like, hip.  Talk to you soon -BMK 

Super Sister to the Rescue!

I’m an awesome sister!  Just ask my brothers.  Or don’t because they’re brothers, so they might mislead you.  Just take my word for it.  I have evidence.

I just got off the phone with my older (like really old... 

... just kidding) brother. He called in a huff, because he’d just received an unsettling phone call. It went something like this:

Phone rings with strange or blocked number.
Brother misses call, calls back because he “always answers or calls back telemarketers to harass them.”
Fellow with Indian accent answers and says he is from IRS headquarters.

IRS: “The local office has sent you two letters to which you were unresponsive.  You are being sued by the IRS for the $1,877.00 you owe.  Do you have a criminal attorney?”

My brother (who happens to be a little lapse in his filings, begins a debate with the guy):  “What address did you send the letters to?  … That’s not my address anymore so of course I was non-responsive.”

IRS: “The letter comes from the local office, I am at headquarters ….”

The call continued in this manner until it was disconnected.

IRS Guy

I held my breath while listening to my brother’s explanation, because I knew exactly what was happening.  My brother was being targeted for identity theft.  Fortunately, he did not provide a current address, nor verify any other information.  Surely, if he was willing, the caller would have gotten him to verify his SS# too. That would be all he needed to file a tax return on behalf of my brother with the refund check electronically sent to the scammers checking account. 

When my brother finished telling the story and I confirmed that he had not given any info, I told him, the IRS will never call you.  That is the most important line of this post.  THE IRS WILL NEVER CALL YOU. 

Relieved my brother said, “See!  You don’t just sit around all day doing nothing!  You are collecting valuable information!”  I collected this info from multiple news reports I’ve seen over the last few years.  IRS fraud is on the rise and will only increase as technology makes it easier for us to file our taxes electronically.  If you suspect you have been a victim of tax fraud or know you have been a victim of identity theft, the IRS has info on the steps to take at this link.  Alerts can be set up for questionable activity.

Identify theft is as popular as American sports, IMO.  I’ve been targeted before by a former neighbor’s boyfriend (my name was Kimya Morris, hers was Kim Morris and we lived in the same building).  He’d put a cell phone bill in my name and somehow my age was altered to make me about 70 years old.  It was annoying and to this day, I use my middle name when applying for credit, so the credit agencies know it’s really me.  But beyond that I continue living an on-line and in-store life that relies almost exclusively on credit cards.  Because they will refund me my money.  Debit cards don’t offer as much protection and clearly cash is just gone.  Here is a list of what protections you have for each type of card. 

In conclusion, I told my brother, what I’ve told lots of friends and family lately … “Download this app!”  J  Of course there’s an app for that!!  True Caller, a free app, allows all its users to report calls as spam.  How does this benefit you?  The app settings allow you to block calls from all numbers others have identified as telemarketers.  A few questionable calls will ring through with a special red caller ID. These are suspected as spam and you can chose to block them immediately.  Then do your part when you receive an unmarked call that turns out to be a telemarketer and help others by marking it as spam.  It takes a village!  I was getting about 5 calls per day after applying for a mortgage refinance last year.  After downloading the app, the calls decreased steadily.  Now I may get a 1-2 a week at most.

Alright, I can’t just sit around all day and blog.  That might be what people think I do! J 

Talk soon –BMK

Me, sitting around doing nothing all day

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This Too Shall Pass (Oh, and pass the peas, please)

I love cooking.  I love cooking, I like eating.  The other night I had a cookie craving around 7pm.  It was a weeknight and my typical post 7pm habit is to be as close to horizontal as possible while watching TV, knitting or drinking wine.  But this night I sprung into baking action.  1.5 hours later I had mediocre cookies.  Which I needed to convince myself were worth the loss of lazy time.  So now you’re thinking, why in the world did it take 1.5 hours?  Did you make really fancy cookies? 

Nope.  I made gluten free oatmeal cookies following a recipe from my friends (in my head) over at America’s Test Kitchen’s book, How Can It Be Gluten Free.  (They were mediocre only because the flavor was slightly different than a regular oatmeal cookie, but still good)  You see my love of cooking is complicated or weighed down by several factors:

I’m VERY lactose intolerant – You can take a blood test to measure how much of sugar from lactose your body will absorb.  My test showed my blood sugar decreased, meaning I didn’t absorb one drop of lactose and my blood was feening for some sugar! (Which may explain the cookie cravings, right :-) I’m mean I’m not a doctor, but ….)

1. I’m gluten sensitive – This means I can eat foods that contain gluten, but there is a threshold at which I will become painfully bloated, my back/hip pain will be triggered and I’m more susceptible to overall achiness.  Where the threshold lies is a guessing game.
   
2. I don’t eat pork and only minimal beef –I’ve never eaten pork.  My mom said it was a no go, and I’m a good girl.  (Though said mom has since stopped following her own advice)  If you’ve never had pork, the thought of eating pig is really not a turn on.  Thus, I never crave it and have no desire to try it.  I stopped eating beef when I was 12 when a friend found a roach in their burger at Burger King.  I didn’t miss it for 20 years.  Then I found myself living in Spain, aka pork country, and very very hungry.  I was BFFs with the cook at the sandwich stand that made Pollo Tropical (a grilled chicken breast sandwich with a tangy sauce).  My dinner was usually 2 scoops of sorbet from Haagen Daaz or more chicken.  So eventually, I was just too damn hungry to continue to forgo beef.  But after a few years of beef gluttony,  the scale and my unaccustomed digestive system caused me to make it a special occasion meat only.
   
3. Lastly, I’m all about texture and smell.  If it’s slimy or it’s not Jell-O, but it giggles, I’m out. If it smells like somebody died, I’m out. (i.e. Hubby’s favorite Norwegian dish, Pinnekjøtt - cured and mutton ribs that are steamed for several hours.  I can’t even be in the house when this is being prepared.  There is no way I’m eating it.)

 

Pinnekjott

So when one who loves to cook has all these limitations, it’s well complicated.  It’s also not helped by my desire for perfection.  I don’t just want to cook.  I want to COOK.  I want you at my table drooling, begging me for more and calling me your Queen!  Too much?  And I want to mix it up.  For years as a one of Beyoncé’s single ladies, I cooked out of necessity and baked for Joy.  I loved entertaining and having an opportunity to get my Martha Stewart on.  But every night cooking was unnecessary and simple meals suited me fine. 

Once I got hitched, I had a captive audience.  And when we adopted Duckie, we adopted an eater. That girl can throw down!  It’s over the last few years that my love of cooking has blossomed.  I now have two in house food critics, whom I greet as my daily culinary challenge.  There’s just one catch.  I’ve waited until the busiest time in my live to want to prepare elaborate meals.  This is the perfect formula for feeling like a failure. 

Yesterday, after squeezing as much work as possible into the 6 hour window, during which Duckie is at school, I picked her up and hurried to her swim lesson.  Hubby arrived during the lesson and I hurried home to get dinner started.  I thought I’d chosen a simpler recipe.  But the chicken cacciatore I started preparing at 4:30pm, hit the table at 6:40pm.  That’s 20 minutes before Duckie hits the hay.

This has pretty much been the story all week.  It’s all part of the adjustment of Hubby not working from home and unable to share in the daytime chores/errands, and  Duckie going hard on the swimming to make the swim team.  At the same time I’m overseeing the renovation of a recently purchased 2 family rental property.  So my plate being so full is leading to their plates being empty, at least until 6:40pm.  At which time, I’m feeling that annoying mommy guilt of having not met the many goals of the day.  Because obviously, Duckie will never be successful in life if she doesn’t have 30 minutes to digest her food before going to bed.

And then, as I was thinking about writing this blog, I had the same revelation I have every time the going gets tough.  This too shall pass!  I’m going to keep loving cooking and hopefully get even better at it.  But Duckie will continue to mature and do more for herself.  Hubby and I will find a balance in the things that need to be done.  And construction (while it may feel like it) is not never ending.  So there will be a time when I get to breath.  And until that time, some nights it may just be PB&J for all.

I like to cook but I’m not a food network kind of girl.  I like details and promises of perfection.  Here are my favorite cooking guides:

America’s TestKitchen – the PBS show and the Cook’sIllustrated magazine provide scientifically tested delicious recipes.  I DVR the show and subscribe to the Cook’s Illustrated website instead of buying the magazine.  All the recipes from the magazine and some from the show are on the site for an annual fee of $40.  I also have their gluten free cookbooks and swear by them. 

The Chew – I’ve previously mentioned I love the show because it’s more than cooking.  But when they cook, something I can eat, they really are cooking live in the studio.  Therefore they are easy to follow recipes.  All of which are on their website. 

Time For Dinner cookbook – Got ground turkey and don’t know what to do for dinner?  This book will give you three meal options to choose from dependent on what else you’ve got in your fridge and pantry.  It also has cook-ahead meals that you can make the weekend before, and ways to make one meal multiple ways to satisfy a family of picky eaters. (Its out of print, but used copies are available for a steal on Amazon)

Kindle – last year I purchased my first digital copy of a cookbook.  I put the iPad in the kitchen and tested out the feel of cooking from a screen.  It’s pretty awesome.  My cookbook shelf is full of books, I don’t take the time to look through.  I was already printing out online recipes.  Now I can search my cookbooks and online in one place and then get cooking.  It also means the recipes are accessible (via app) if I need to check the ingredients while at the grocery store. 

Ok. This post was WAY longer than intended.  I’ve now got T minus 4 hours before school pickup.  Gotta get my Rihanna on and work work work work work work.  Talk soon.

-BMK