This Too Shall Pass (Oh, and pass the peas, please)

I love cooking.  I love cooking, I like eating.  The other night I had a cookie craving around 7pm.  It was a weeknight and my typical post 7pm habit is to be as close to horizontal as possible while watching TV, knitting or drinking wine.  But this night I sprung into baking action.  1.5 hours later I had mediocre cookies.  Which I needed to convince myself were worth the loss of lazy time.  So now you’re thinking, why in the world did it take 1.5 hours?  Did you make really fancy cookies? 

Nope.  I made gluten free oatmeal cookies following a recipe from my friends (in my head) over at America’s Test Kitchen’s book, How Can It Be Gluten Free.  (They were mediocre only because the flavor was slightly different than a regular oatmeal cookie, but still good)  You see my love of cooking is complicated or weighed down by several factors:

I’m VERY lactose intolerant – You can take a blood test to measure how much of sugar from lactose your body will absorb.  My test showed my blood sugar decreased, meaning I didn’t absorb one drop of lactose and my blood was feening for some sugar! (Which may explain the cookie cravings, right :-) I’m mean I’m not a doctor, but ….)

1. I’m gluten sensitive – This means I can eat foods that contain gluten, but there is a threshold at which I will become painfully bloated, my back/hip pain will be triggered and I’m more susceptible to overall achiness.  Where the threshold lies is a guessing game.
   
2. I don’t eat pork and only minimal beef –I’ve never eaten pork.  My mom said it was a no go, and I’m a good girl.  (Though said mom has since stopped following her own advice)  If you’ve never had pork, the thought of eating pig is really not a turn on.  Thus, I never crave it and have no desire to try it.  I stopped eating beef when I was 12 when a friend found a roach in their burger at Burger King.  I didn’t miss it for 20 years.  Then I found myself living in Spain, aka pork country, and very very hungry.  I was BFFs with the cook at the sandwich stand that made Pollo Tropical (a grilled chicken breast sandwich with a tangy sauce).  My dinner was usually 2 scoops of sorbet from Haagen Daaz or more chicken.  So eventually, I was just too damn hungry to continue to forgo beef.  But after a few years of beef gluttony,  the scale and my unaccustomed digestive system caused me to make it a special occasion meat only.
   
3. Lastly, I’m all about texture and smell.  If it’s slimy or it’s not Jell-O, but it giggles, I’m out. If it smells like somebody died, I’m out. (i.e. Hubby’s favorite Norwegian dish, Pinnekjøtt - cured and mutton ribs that are steamed for several hours.  I can’t even be in the house when this is being prepared.  There is no way I’m eating it.)

 

Pinnekjott

So when one who loves to cook has all these limitations, it’s well complicated.  It’s also not helped by my desire for perfection.  I don’t just want to cook.  I want to COOK.  I want you at my table drooling, begging me for more and calling me your Queen!  Too much?  And I want to mix it up.  For years as a one of Beyoncé’s single ladies, I cooked out of necessity and baked for Joy.  I loved entertaining and having an opportunity to get my Martha Stewart on.  But every night cooking was unnecessary and simple meals suited me fine. 

Once I got hitched, I had a captive audience.  And when we adopted Duckie, we adopted an eater. That girl can throw down!  It’s over the last few years that my love of cooking has blossomed.  I now have two in house food critics, whom I greet as my daily culinary challenge.  There’s just one catch.  I’ve waited until the busiest time in my live to want to prepare elaborate meals.  This is the perfect formula for feeling like a failure. 

Yesterday, after squeezing as much work as possible into the 6 hour window, during which Duckie is at school, I picked her up and hurried to her swim lesson.  Hubby arrived during the lesson and I hurried home to get dinner started.  I thought I’d chosen a simpler recipe.  But the chicken cacciatore I started preparing at 4:30pm, hit the table at 6:40pm.  That’s 20 minutes before Duckie hits the hay.

This has pretty much been the story all week.  It’s all part of the adjustment of Hubby not working from home and unable to share in the daytime chores/errands, and  Duckie going hard on the swimming to make the swim team.  At the same time I’m overseeing the renovation of a recently purchased 2 family rental property.  So my plate being so full is leading to their plates being empty, at least until 6:40pm.  At which time, I’m feeling that annoying mommy guilt of having not met the many goals of the day.  Because obviously, Duckie will never be successful in life if she doesn’t have 30 minutes to digest her food before going to bed.

And then, as I was thinking about writing this blog, I had the same revelation I have every time the going gets tough.  This too shall pass!  I’m going to keep loving cooking and hopefully get even better at it.  But Duckie will continue to mature and do more for herself.  Hubby and I will find a balance in the things that need to be done.  And construction (while it may feel like it) is not never ending.  So there will be a time when I get to breath.  And until that time, some nights it may just be PB&J for all.

I like to cook but I’m not a food network kind of girl.  I like details and promises of perfection.  Here are my favorite cooking guides:

America’s TestKitchen – the PBS show and the Cook’sIllustrated magazine provide scientifically tested delicious recipes.  I DVR the show and subscribe to the Cook’s Illustrated website instead of buying the magazine.  All the recipes from the magazine and some from the show are on the site for an annual fee of $40.  I also have their gluten free cookbooks and swear by them. 

The Chew – I’ve previously mentioned I love the show because it’s more than cooking.  But when they cook, something I can eat, they really are cooking live in the studio.  Therefore they are easy to follow recipes.  All of which are on their website. 

Time For Dinner cookbook – Got ground turkey and don’t know what to do for dinner?  This book will give you three meal options to choose from dependent on what else you’ve got in your fridge and pantry.  It also has cook-ahead meals that you can make the weekend before, and ways to make one meal multiple ways to satisfy a family of picky eaters. (Its out of print, but used copies are available for a steal on Amazon)

Kindle – last year I purchased my first digital copy of a cookbook.  I put the iPad in the kitchen and tested out the feel of cooking from a screen.  It’s pretty awesome.  My cookbook shelf is full of books, I don’t take the time to look through.  I was already printing out online recipes.  Now I can search my cookbooks and online in one place and then get cooking.  It also means the recipes are accessible (via app) if I need to check the ingredients while at the grocery store. 

Ok. This post was WAY longer than intended.  I’ve now got T minus 4 hours before school pickup.  Gotta get my Rihanna on and work work work work work work.  Talk soon.

-BMK