If You Troll a Troll the Trolls Win (Say it fast 5 times)

Sending a six- year old to sleep away camp is apparently a controversial thing.   Earlier in the year when I knew we’d be sending Duckie, I set out to find the best (yet affordable) camp.  As part of my search, I posted on a parents Facebook page for my community.  And like any other place on the internet I was trolled.  A mom was aghast that I would engage in such child cruelty.  I mean obviously I just wanted to shirk my parenting responsibilities and throw my child to the wolves.  It’s either that or, I’m one of those super aggressive parents who foolishly pushes my child forward into experiences she is not ready for and will spend years of therapy trying to overcome.

Of course, I never asked for anyone’s opinion on whether I should send her to camp.  I asked for reviews of the specific camps I was considering.  This particular troll had no feedback on any of the camps, so why was she even responding?  IDK, but I do know it got my blood pressure up and as Norwegian Hubby would say, I really wanted to tell her “where to put the cabinet” (translation: tell her off).  I didn’t know the woman, though in all likelihood, I probably know someone who knows her because my town is only so big.  And more importantly, she doesn’t know me or my kid, so why is she sticking her nose into a conversation in which she has nothing of value to offer?

Back in real life, most people respond with shock when I say that Duckie is going or has gone to sleep away camp.  They picture their child at that age, and imagine how difficult or impossible that might be.  Those who know Duckie, are then able to switch gears and instead think of her in the situation.  They often conclude that she probably would enjoy it, but their expressions still betray the lingering doubt or fears they have for a young child at camp.

If you know Duckie, you know that she’s never asked her parents to stay for anything.  Instead, when we take her for a playdate (or quite frankly, to visit our friends who also happen to have children), within 5 minutes she typically says, “Ok Mom, Dad you can go now!” And often this is followed by some pushing out of the door.  Offensive?  No, she’s an only child who rolls with her parents most of the time.  So when she sees an opportunity to just be a kid with other kids she’s elated.  Also, she’s been this way since she could talk.  She’s more than happy to take a vacation with her parents and not see kids for days.  But when it’s time to socialize with her peers, she is about it.  I recall the first time we took her to the holiday camp at the local Y.  She was three years old.  When she walked into the large room filled with kids, she said, “Whoa Mom, look at all the kids!”  At which point she dropped her backpack and ran in, as if she was running in to the ocean to dive into a wave.

So I know my kid and what she needs, wants and can handle.  In addition, I (a much less extroverted child) went to sleep away camp for the first time at 6 years old.  My mom still has the desperate sulking letters from my first days to prove it.  But by the end of my first week, I’d bonded with friends and would continue to love going to camp for the next 8 years.

Nervous dad, pretends he's not nervous at drop off

Ultimately, I couldn’t choose between camps and decided to send her to both.  The first for a week right after school ended and the second for two weeks in August.  I just about collapsed from all the paperwork and packing lists.  But we had a tear-free drop off and I made sure to start writing her letters right away.  In all, she received three letters from us.  Guess how many we got back?  Yup, zip, zero, nada!  Her counselor told us how great the letters were, and how they read them together.  She said it was great how I asked specific questions that would require an answer.  I’d packed pre-addressed stamped envelopes and stationary in her trunk.  But she said Duckie read them enthusiastically, and then said, “Oh I can’t reply, I’ve got to go do some rock climbing!” 

Ok, Take the photo and scram

2 minutes after we left

So, it’s fair to say she has zero detachment issues.  And I showed great restraint in replying to my internet troll.  Her actual reply to my question asking for reviews of camps was “Sleep away camp for a first grader?”  My reply was, “Yup!”  Because there is a slight possibility that she was just curious (who am I kidding, mom on mom shade is real) but even so, if we tell the trolls where to put the cabinets, the trolls win.  But rest assured when the next person posts a question about camps, I’ll be sure so say, “My six year old loved sleep away camp.  At pick up, she didn’t want to leave and instead explained repeatedly how “they do your laundry here mommy, so I can stay for six more weeks, OK?”  -Signed, Smug Mommy

Only two more weeks to repack the trunk for sleep away camp part deux. But first I’ve got to fill some backpack, please pitch in https://www.facebook.com/MontclairOperationBackpack/  

Talk soon … BMK