Adventures is Food (Adventure 1)

I’ve been absent (hopefully, noticeably) for a few weeks.  Not just because my schedule has been too hectic to really get my brain to focus. But also because, I usually draw inspiration from what I’m seeing and hearing on the news, online, etc.  But the last few weeks has been wall to wall election and election scandal coverage.

While I doubt most of my political views are a secret, that is not a subject I desire to focus on in this blog.  And really, there is no need, as seemingly hundreds of thousands of other bloggers have it covered.  But that left me with little to write about.  I mean really the coverage has been so wall to wall that Kim K being held at gun point could hardly remain a top story in a 24 hour news cycle.  And no matter how we feel about Kim K a woman being held at gun-point in a hotel for her jewelry is headline news.  Add to it that the woman is a celebrity and a damn near created social media, and this is big news and terrible news.  But alas, no time for digging into that these days.

Food to the rescue!  Thank you food.  I decided to be a blogging guinea pig and try out one of the meal delivery services.  I received a $30 off coupon from Blue Apron via snail mail.  At the time, I was both bored with cooking and tired of doing it.  Plus, I’d been struggling with hip pain which made the idea of standing around to cook, well, unsavory.

But as luck would have it, I got the good meds, just as my first box arrived (about a week and a half after I’d set up my account).  Duckie was the most excited to see the big box on the porch.  Why?  I guess even now cardboard boxes are still the best toys in town!

If you’ve never tried it, here’s how it works:  You go to their website and sign up.  Then enter some very basic preferences like, meal plan (2 person or 4 person – I chose 2 person), # of recipes per week (I chose 3), dietary preferences (I chose not to receive beef or pork) and it defaults to Sunday as your deliver day but this can be changed.  I was not however able to set a preference for gluten-free or dairy-free.

On my first order I was able to use the $30 discount, and received a $12.50 rebate from E-bates.  However, since it’s a subscription, the following orders were regularly priced at $60 (a 4 person plan is double).  I have participated for 3 non-consecutive weeks (based on if I liked or couldn’t eat the things on things the menu).  Here are some of the dished I made (shown based on nothing other than me remembering to take a picture):

 

Ratings (5 Yums = Great; 1 Yum = Yucky)

• Cripsy Catfish (with kale-faro salad and warm grape relish) - 5 Yums
• Five Spice Chicken - 2 Yums
• Thai Red Curry & Rice - 3 Yums
• Crispy Catfish (with yellow curry and bird's eye chile sauce) - 4 Yums

Other Meals:

• Caramelized Onion Kale Quiches - 5 Yums
• Pan Seared Chicken - 4 Yums
• Blackened Chicken - 3 Yums
• Crispy Salmon - 5 Yums
• Brown Butter and Thyme Gnocchi - 4 Yums

My Review:
All of the meals were good.  My least favorite was the Five Spice Chicken. But that was the fault of the five spices.  It’s just not a flavor I crave.  My most favorite was the Catfish with the Grape Relish.  Yumm.  But everything in between was delicious and satisfying.

Let’s talk prep.  Each recipe comes with an estimated prep and cook time.  The cook times were always accurate or a little more than needed because my stove puts out a strong flame.  The prep times always took me 10-15 minutes longer than what was indicated.  But I’m not sure I can blame Blue Apron for that.  I’m a bit of a paranoid recipe follower.  My constant reading and re-reading (and yet some-how never reading far enough ahead) must account for a lot of the time difference.  Also I don’t/can’t speed chop.  I’m too in love with my fingers.  But I would expect that all but the most skilled, would require a few additional prep time minutes.

What do you get?  Pretty much everything you need.  The only ingredients of my own I had to use were olive oil and salt and pepper.  Everything else was included, down to the 2 tablespoons of butter!

Is it enough?  Yes, if you eat like an actual human should.  Because there are three of us, but I’m cheap I ordered the 2 person plan instead of the 4 person plan.  Duckie likes to eat, but dinner is often her least favorite time to eat.  She’s too busy talking, standing, playing with the remote control, reading, trying to talk us into watching tv, etc, etc, etc.  Eating is just not a priority at that time unless it’s one of her favorites. And she loads up on snacks after school and before swim practice.  Any who, that means I don’t need to give her a full serving.  Most days I gave her ¼ of my meal and that was plenty.  But she did like some meals so much that additional sacrifices had to be made.  And since I was only cooking 3 Blue Apron meals per week, I also had leftovers from other meals which she had the option of choosing. Hubby says his portion was just right and my ¾ of a meal was great for me too.

Will I continue?  Yes, but sporadically (ah, missing Brittany Murphy from Clueless).  I love not having to think about or shop for dinner.  I also love only getting the amount of raw food I need.  My refrigerator is not currently filled with produce that will go bad before I find a second or third use for it.  And, I love that not one of these recipes would I have come up with on my own.  I don’t love that I can’t always select dairy or gluten-free options.  And though a local ABC new report priced it out as just the same as going to the market, it feels like I’m over-spending.

What’s next?  I tried Hello Fresh once and didn’t fell those were meals I wouldn’t have done myself and done better.  There are other plans I’d like to try also.  But last night my lil’ bro told me about an app called Mealime (its also a website, but its 2016 people).  This app lets you set up all the same preferences as Blue Apron and a lot more (including gluten and dairy-free) and then suggests meals to you for the week.  After you finalize your selections, it creates a grocery list for you and then provides the recipes. While this option obviously requires me to o to the grocery store, it still eliminates the thought and planning on my part.  So I’m intrigued and will report back.

I’m done with all my Blue Apron meals for this week.  Which means I’ve got to go and pick up the kid and get started preparing my uninspired dinner of baked chicken, potatoes and random frozen vegetable.  Talk soon … BMK  

"Squirrel"

Hubby says I should blog about how he has ADHD and he never forgets anything, is super organized and is super reliable.  But of course by now he’s forgotten he even asked me to blog that lie!

The truth is his memory sucks, he views organization as the enemy and I can rely on having to ask him to do something an average of 3-5 times in a week if I actually have any hope of getting it done.  Of course if it needs to be done that day, then I’ll have to condense it to 3-5 five reminders a day, better known as nagging!

We only recently discovered that he has ADHD, and not on purpose.  We were more concerned about the horrible year Duckie had in school last year.  Her class had no structure, several teacher changes and one constant … Duckie was always distracted and talkative and sometimes angry.  This is nothing new (except for the ridiculous teacher changes). Every year we head into parent teacher conferences, with our invisible armor on.  It’s been this way since pre-K.  In fact, if parent teacher conferences are the first time we are being asked to meet about Duckie’s behavior, I consider that a win!

When Duckie was a baby she watched everything, like she was studying for a test. She seemed to want to know how everything worked, especially people.  She smiled a lot and she grunted.  She was not overly concerned with finding words.  In fact, after she starting talking she quickly decided to stop.  She stopped talking just after she decided to call me mommy.  You can imagine, this was disturbing.  I mean she said daddy and kept talking for months!! Ok, that wasn’t really the disconcerting part.  It was obviously a developmental concern.  But she was able to effectively communicate through grunts (which may say a lot about us as a family) and eventually, I pushed her to point to pictures of things she wanted (i.e milk from the fridge).  Then one day she started talking and she had never stopped again.  No really she has not stopped.  She even talks (and grunts) in her sleep.

So by the time she got to pre-K, talking non-stop was just a thing she did and a thing teachers complained about.  My bestie in middle school talked non-stop, so I figured it was just a character trait.  Duckie also moves non-stop.  That too has always been true.  As a baby she was most content riding in the car or being pushed through the streets in a stroller, where she could look out into the world.  And as a toddler, she began everyday by asking where we were going.

She would also appear to not be paying attention to the TV or a conversation and then chime in with a question that showed she’d heard everything.  I watched her do the same thing in class last year, to her teacher’s dismay.  She was talking through the teacher’s instructions and when put on the spot could repeat back exactly what the instructions had been.  Damn!! I thought, sucks to be the teacher to this kid!  Oh wait, I’m her mom, and she does the same thing to me. 

Anyway, we just thought all of these things were just part of her amazing personality.  I’ve often said, I’ve never met anyone like her.  Well turns out I have, I married him.  And while her personality is amazing, she has also been diagnosed with ADHD with an emphasis on Hyperactivity.

What are the symptoms of ADD/ADHD?

Inattention

Hyperactivity

Impulsivity

Those are the broad categories under which the main symptoms fall.  The specific questions that are asked by doctors and in numerous books on the subject with checklist, are more specific.  For example, is the person?

• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
• Appears “on the go” or acts as if “driven by a motor.”
• Talks excessively.
• Avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework).

Another symptom is hyper focus on things you enjoy.
Like climbing a rock wall without hesitation or direction on your first try.

Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes.  In fact, her pediatrician did not even have to ask these questions.  I just asked Maia to tell him about what happens at school.  And because of her gift of gab she answered all those questions and more without being asked.

When we got the diagnosis it was not an “aha” moment.  Instead it was a “duh why didn’t we know that moment”.  The answer is simple.  Like most people you think a disability is disabling.  But it’s not for Duckie (and many people).  As of now, she is able to learn while not actually paying attention.  As a result, all of her grades (except the ones for behavior) are good.  So I’m pretty sure we could have stayed in our fog of not knowing for years to come if I hadn’t asked the doctor for a consult.  No one at school, ever suggested the possibility, though I’m pretty confident they suspected.

So, once we got the diagnosis, I did what I do.  I wore out my library card reading about ADHD.  And in every book, on every checklist, I started to realize these symptoms remind me about someone else.  I would start randomly asking Hubby questions.  “Babe, do you have difficulty organizing tasks during the day?”  “How about movement, do you usually feel the need to move?”  “And what about …” Well couldn’t finish the questions because he was interrupting frequently and talking incessantly!

So it became obvious to us both that at least two people in our home were struggling with the same daily challenges.  We can’t get him to fill out the questionnaire, but we’ve decided the youngest dog has it too!   

So where will this journey take us?  Well as of right now I’m the only one who stands a chance of remembering to get back to you on that!  But seriously, it’s a relief to know that the two people I care for the most aren’t intentionally ignoring me all day.  And that their level of energy is not one I can hope to match.  For now, we are going through the steps of having the school child study team complete their evaluations to make sure Duckie will be in the best learning environment for her.  And as for hubby, he’s flashing back to childhood and realizing how different things could have been for him, if he and his family had and explanation for his challenges. And in the meantime, he’s trying his hardest to remember what it is that he is forgetting.

Gotta go remind some people of somethings.  This video is the soundtrack of my life.  Talk soon ... BMK

And we are back!

Our 5 day cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Empress of the Seas turned out to be just what we needed.  It provided us with relaxation, beauty and free child care!!  After two long weeks of not parenting Duckie because she was at sleep away camp, we needed to ease back in the responsible adult thing :-)

Somebody was happy to be crusing!

Even though I used to be a travel agent and even worked at the Norwegian Cruise terminal in New York City for a time, I’ve never sailed with any cruise line other than Royal Caribbean.  It’s like when you find a pair of jeans that fits perfectly, you don’t start shopping around for other brands.  You stick with what you know as long as it works.  For me a high level of customer service is important when I travel and in any business/service transaction.  This was my 8^th cruise (I think), Duckie’s 4^th and Hubby’s 3^rd.  Each cruise has left us feeling happy and refreshed, but maybe this one the most. 

At only 5 days and 2 destinations, this was the shortest cruise we’ve taken and it was the smallest ship on which we have sailed.  The Empress of the Seas was built in 1990 and has since been dwarfed by each ship the company has built since.  It was retired and then two months ago it returned to service after being refurbished.  Because of this transition the ship is like a grandmother on Twitter.   The dining room has a old school feel, with chairs that look very much like the carpet, and gold railings surrounding a grand staircase.  But up on deck, a large HD screen floats over the bar showing movies and the Olympics while guest watch from the hot tub or the salt water pool which is small by today’s standards.  Other upgrades include the rock climbing wall, steakhouse restaurant, and in room flat screen TVs with satellite coverage. 

But that’s exactly what made it so great.  Unlike my usual, let’s keep it moving self, I was happy to not have 1 million options of things to do.  In fact, it’s fair to say there was still plenty to do, I just didn’t do it.  There were shows, and bingo and Karaoke, and a Casino, and game shows, and dance parties, and a spa.  But here is how we spend our days at sea:  Breakfast, followed by sitting in or around the pool, while Duckie played with a new friend.  Lunch pool side and then a shower.  Duckie then went off to kids club, which is essentially, summer camp on a ship, and we napped or read or sat in a lounge chair on deck with cigars.  Then we’d head to dinner with or without Duckie (sometimes she preferred to stay eat with the kids club, she’s just not that into being parented, post-camp).  Our waiter was obsessed with making sure no diary was slipped to me in any dish (lactose-intolerance) and the assistant water got me hooked on sour dough bread which was tolerated by my gluten-intolerance.  (It’s not easy being green!) After dinner, we’d watch a movie on deck or relax in the cabin. Then we’d usually have a late night snack before bed.

Our daily view

We spent one full day at sea before docking in Grand Cayman.  We’d all been before so, instead of swimming with the sting rays or having Duckie pull the tails of the gigantic biting turtles (in fairness she was a 1 year old when did this), we just hopped a $5 taxi van to Seven Mile Beach (the Sea Grape section) and spent a few hours swimming in clear blue water with our goggles on to create our DIY snorkeling adventure.  And in between swims we relaxed on the rented beach chairs under the rented umbrella sipping cocktails from the beach bar.  Really, there could not be a more perfect day.

 

Grand Cayman

Tandem Float

Tender Boat in and out of Grand Cayman from ship

After another day at sea we docked in Key West, a favorite place of mine and Hubby.  But we are used to being there at a hotel or with a car to go out and adventure and also to eat a lot.  On foot in the hot sun and with little desire to pay for a meal, when great ones were free on the ship, we found ourselves without a real plan.  After hitting up the Starbucks and CVS it was starting to feel a bit too much like home, so we hailed a cab and asked to be taken to a nice beach close by.  The taxi driver seems to think the beach in Fort Taylor State Park with rocks instead of sand fit the bill.  While I disagreed, we were there, so we rented beach chairs and an umbrella and creeped over the sharp rocks on hands and feet until we were comfortably in the water, and then a thunderstorm began!  Ha!  It started to rain really hard, people ran as fast as one can over rocks out of the water and under the awning of the convenience stand.  We stood under our umbrella, getting dressed and wondering how we’d time our beach trip so perfectly, as to make it a complete waste of time.  But just as things were looking, well overcast, humanity gave us a reason to smile.  The guy at the beach chair and umbrella stand refunded us our rental fee.  We hopped a cab back to the ship got on board and headed to lunch.  By the time we were done the rain had ended and we resumed our normal at sea activity of relaxing. 

 

Key West through the Port Hole

Normally when all three us of cruise together we have our picture taken on formal night and purchase one or two 8x10 photos.  This serves as a simple way to get something close to a bi-annual family portrait.  But because of the small size of the ship they did not have a photographer and backdrop set up outside of the dining room.  Instead they advertised a photo studio with no sitting fees.  So we made an appointment for that last evening and had our photo session.  We came back a few hours later to select photos and nearly fell out of our seats laughing.  The photos were all black and white, which we knew going in, but the photographer used a camera filter which highlighted the whites, thus exposing every single gray hair on my head and aging me by 20 years.  For hubby this caused him to appear as though his hair line had moved back a foot!  We easily eliminated 20 or more photos and selected just three photos to purchase.  Which was two more than, we’d originally planned to purchase.  The photographer was aghast.  He could not believe we would only want three pictures.  So I said, “Yup, that’s all we need. How much will it be?”  I was thinking he might give us a discount because we’d had to wait 30 minutes for him to be available, after he’d asked us to come early.  He said people normally chose more pictures and the digital package was $550.  We were practically rolling on the floor laughing at this point.  Which I understand might have been offensive to the poor guy, since it was his job to sell ridiculous things to dummies.  So I explained we didn’t need the pictures digitally, we just needed 3 prints.  He remained stunned, while thinking really hard and then said … wait for it … “That will be $350.”  Of course, even he couldn’t say it with a straight face.  Suffice it to say I can’t show you how my grays glistened and Hubby’s newly bald head shined, because we left empty handed, repeating every few minutes, “ Did he really say $350?!”

 

But I can show you this photo of me using my Birdling Bag as my everything bag for the cruise/beach  (You might want to get one at birdling.com)

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that photo studio idea won’t catch on with all the other ships.  If it does then I need to start a business selling sand in the Sahara.  I said as much in the survey Royal Caribbean emailed post-cruise.   All in all, it was obvious that most of the staff was new to Royal Caribbean, service was still good, just not great as it usually is.  And based on experiences I heard from previous clients, average service (and food quality) on Royal is still better than good service on Carnival or Norwegian.  So I’d expect they just need a few months to work out the kinks of scaling down their big operation to this smaller ship.  And with prices as low as small ship sailing offers, I think there will be many other guests who are ready to enjoy the relaxing just as we did.

Well that's all for now.  Duty calls time to prep for back to school, back to life and back to dreaming about my next vacation.  Maybe next time I'm in at Miami's airport I'll stop in here ...

Namaste .... Talk soon, BMK

... And then I nearly ruined summer

Just moments after I completed my last post about how I saved summer by booking a last minute cruise for just about free, it happened.  I finally responded to Dave, the voice in my head.  Actually, it was the voice of the Royal Caribbean agent, Dave, who when I booked asked, you have passports right? As, we wrapped up the conversation.  "Yup!" I said, as I forcefully declined his offers for travel insurance (that's for rookies).

So after I published the post, I took a trip down to the safe, figuring I might as well pack the passports now.  But really somewhere deep, deep down, I must have known.  It's been two years since they were last used.  What with school and finances getting in the way (and the lack of a worthy Olympics destination) we've been traveling a lot less and when we do its domestic.

So you already know where this is going.  I'm writing to you now from the Regional US Passport Office in Stamford CT.  As you may know children's passports expire every five years.  (If you have one, I'll wait while you check the expiration date).  I was sure those five years would be up sometime other than NOW!

So 8 days ago I was freaking out.  The kid's passport is expired, I booked a non-refundable trip, kid must appear in person to renew passport and THE KID IS AT SLEEP AWAY CAMP, 2.5 hours away.

Did you just stop breathing?  Well I did.  Hubby came home and we hyperventilated together.  We thought about hitting the road the next day picking her up from camp and driving the 2+ hours from there to the nearest emergency passport location(Stamford or NYC) and then driving her back to camp.  Only to have to go pick her up again to bring her home a week later.  I hate driving long distances. So this idea to me was basically signing up for torture.  Hubby doesn't mind driving, he likes it actually. But then he imagined how mad Duckie would be if we made her miss a day at, "the best place in the world! "

Ultimately we decided on the plan that brings us here, now the day before our early morning flight to Miami to board the cruise.  We left the house at 5:30 am this morning armed with the passport photos I'd asked the camp to take and send me and which I bugged the photo guy at Costco to print (Why can't you do it? But why? What policy?  Give me the thumb drive miss. Sigh) and the 1 million documents and completed forms needed.  With permission we picked Duckie up from camp 3 hours early and headed to Stamford.  We had an appointment for 1 pm but arrived around 11am. Our paperwork was accepted and fees taken by the very friendly staff within 10 minutes.  We were told to return at 3pm.  It's 3:05 and ...

Summer saved again!  Bring on the beaches and clear water ... Talk soon .. but not too soon.  BMK

How BMK Saved Summer (and Football)!

It appears I'm in an annual denial cycle of summer being just as busy a time as any other.  I've held on to this myth since summers where actually a break from school work, despite working during summer break.  Each year it gets harder to believe in this orange unicorn of a leisurely summer, but I still believe.

This summer I focused my fairy wishes on August when the evils of the universe (I'm looking at you East Orange Buildings Permits Department) stopped throwing obstacles in my way.  My major projects would be done (still looking at you EODPD) and what I hoped would be a successful Operation Backpack drive would be over (it was super successful, many thanks).  Then my Duckie would head of to sleep away camp and all would be right with the world.

But here I am in the midst of her sleep away camp bid and I find myself with financial stresses up the wazu and a new job that I was never formerly offered or asked to accept (welcome to Wally World!)  Still I was on a mission to save summer for me and Hubby, because lets face it Duckie is doing just fine!

Dukie, toughing it out at drop off to her 2nd sleep-away camp of the summer

I used up several notebook pages calculating frequent flier miles, credit card points and travel promotions.  The next few pages went to scheduling.  Because of all things, I have to plan our vacation around the live draft we are having for the fantasy football league for which I am commissioner (you can just call me The Commish).  It falls right smack in the middle of the only two week period during which we can get away.  Imagine my conversations with booking agents, "well that date doesn't really work for me because of the draft."  But alas, it took a whole month for all of the team managers to agree on a date when we could all be in the same state on the same date at the same time.  So I'm not messing with that.

Me, driving around town in a Jeep Wrangler, pretending potholes are sand dunes

My ideal trip would have been to use the miles to spend a week in Barcelona.  Not enough miles to pull that off this time of year.  Second best, go to Seattle/Vancouver and make sure to see a Seahawks pre-season game while there.  I had enough miles to get us there, but couldn't work out an itinerary that left enough time to see the game.  (Hmmm... maybe I need to take a look at how football is ruining my summers ... tbd)  So I gave in to going on a road trip to a New England beach town.  I spent over a week looking at destinations and rental properties.  The latter made me mini-vomit in my mouth frequently.  Can you all please spread the word that every rental property in the world should have white linens and microfiber or leather single colored sofas?!  Thanks.  So.... that didn't work out.
I was distraught, because if I'm going to finagle a vacation by cashing in on all my travel tricks of the trade, it ought to be a good vacation, and in August, I'd prefer it include a beach.  (But not only beach, because I'm easily bored.  So I also need a cute town and affordable restaurants....)  Desperate and deterred, I had an ah ha!  Momma loves a cruise!  So why not just hop on one out of NJ to Bermuda.  I was in luck Royal Caribbean had just the cruise on the dates I needed.  And United Cruises had all kinds of promotions for using my Mileage Plus Visa Card or points.  Then, it was sold out.  No worries, I called Royal Caribbean to get on the waiting list (there is always one and if you live near the port city, it's worth it to be on the list).  The agent was happy to help until I said there would be 3 of us.  "Oh," she said, "We can only put groups of two on the waiting list now because the boat will not have enough life jackets if the final cabins are filled with more than two people."  I pride myself on smooth talking agents.  But I'm not fighting that logic. I'm gonna need a life vest!

But she did tip me off to some departures out of Florida that fit my travel date limitations and were on super dupper sale.  So here's what I got:

5 Night Cruise from Miami to Key West and Grand Cayman on Royal Carribean
Outside Cabin for 3 people

• Cost $1052 booked directly with RCCL ($200-300 more with United Cruises or Amex Travel)
• I booked on my Amex Card where I can use my points to pay for $600
• I also have enough points on my business Chase Ink card to cash those in for $407 which goes into my checking account.  

So I'm $45 short of making the cruise free of cost.  But by the time the bill comes in I'll have earned enough addition Amex Membership Reward Points to cover that too.  Total Cruise Cost = $0

Next was airfare:
3 Roundtrip tickets into Miami and out of Fort Lauderdale (spending one night at Villa Pompano)

• Cost 67,000 Mileage Plus points and $253 

The only bummer is that $225 of that fee is not taxes its the fee United charges for booking an award flight less than 21 days in advance.  In other words, its ridiculous!  And there is a work around, my friend Google told me.  You book the exact flights you want but on a date more than 21 days out, then call within 24 hours to change to the dates you want.  United booking agents have to manually add the $75 close-in booking fee, but usually forget.  But I was too burnt out to go through all that hootinany and risk my flights not being available.  So I'm coughing up a spectacular $253 for my Ultimate End of Summer Blow Out Vacation!!!  Though, I'm still convinced, if I think hard enough, I'll find away to get the orange unicorn to have that cost magically disappear.

Well, that's it.  I've got packing to do, it's summer, its pre-season so, GO BIG OR GO HOME! - BMK

If You Troll a Troll the Trolls Win (Say it fast 5 times)

Sending a six- year old to sleep away camp is apparently a controversial thing.   Earlier in the year when I knew we’d be sending Duckie, I set out to find the best (yet affordable) camp.  As part of my search, I posted on a parents Facebook page for my community.  And like any other place on the internet I was trolled.  A mom was aghast that I would engage in such child cruelty.  I mean obviously I just wanted to shirk my parenting responsibilities and throw my child to the wolves.  It’s either that or, I’m one of those super aggressive parents who foolishly pushes my child forward into experiences she is not ready for and will spend years of therapy trying to overcome.

Of course, I never asked for anyone’s opinion on whether I should send her to camp.  I asked for reviews of the specific camps I was considering.  This particular troll had no feedback on any of the camps, so why was she even responding?  IDK, but I do know it got my blood pressure up and as Norwegian Hubby would say, I really wanted to tell her “where to put the cabinet” (translation: tell her off).  I didn’t know the woman, though in all likelihood, I probably know someone who knows her because my town is only so big.  And more importantly, she doesn’t know me or my kid, so why is she sticking her nose into a conversation in which she has nothing of value to offer?

Back in real life, most people respond with shock when I say that Duckie is going or has gone to sleep away camp.  They picture their child at that age, and imagine how difficult or impossible that might be.  Those who know Duckie, are then able to switch gears and instead think of her in the situation.  They often conclude that she probably would enjoy it, but their expressions still betray the lingering doubt or fears they have for a young child at camp.

If you know Duckie, you know that she’s never asked her parents to stay for anything.  Instead, when we take her for a playdate (or quite frankly, to visit our friends who also happen to have children), within 5 minutes she typically says, “Ok Mom, Dad you can go now!” And often this is followed by some pushing out of the door.  Offensive?  No, she’s an only child who rolls with her parents most of the time.  So when she sees an opportunity to just be a kid with other kids she’s elated.  Also, she’s been this way since she could talk.  She’s more than happy to take a vacation with her parents and not see kids for days.  But when it’s time to socialize with her peers, she is about it.  I recall the first time we took her to the holiday camp at the local Y.  She was three years old.  When she walked into the large room filled with kids, she said, “Whoa Mom, look at all the kids!”  At which point she dropped her backpack and ran in, as if she was running in to the ocean to dive into a wave.

So I know my kid and what she needs, wants and can handle.  In addition, I (a much less extroverted child) went to sleep away camp for the first time at 6 years old.  My mom still has the desperate sulking letters from my first days to prove it.  But by the end of my first week, I’d bonded with friends and would continue to love going to camp for the next 8 years.

Nervous dad, pretends he's not nervous at drop off

Ultimately, I couldn’t choose between camps and decided to send her to both.  The first for a week right after school ended and the second for two weeks in August.  I just about collapsed from all the paperwork and packing lists.  But we had a tear-free drop off and I made sure to start writing her letters right away.  In all, she received three letters from us.  Guess how many we got back?  Yup, zip, zero, nada!  Her counselor told us how great the letters were, and how they read them together.  She said it was great how I asked specific questions that would require an answer.  I’d packed pre-addressed stamped envelopes and stationary in her trunk.  But she said Duckie read them enthusiastically, and then said, “Oh I can’t reply, I’ve got to go do some rock climbing!” 

Ok, Take the photo and scram

2 minutes after we left

So, it’s fair to say she has zero detachment issues.  And I showed great restraint in replying to my internet troll.  Her actual reply to my question asking for reviews of camps was “Sleep away camp for a first grader?”  My reply was, “Yup!”  Because there is a slight possibility that she was just curious (who am I kidding, mom on mom shade is real) but even so, if we tell the trolls where to put the cabinets, the trolls win.  But rest assured when the next person posts a question about camps, I’ll be sure so say, “My six year old loved sleep away camp.  At pick up, she didn’t want to leave and instead explained repeatedly how “they do your laundry here mommy, so I can stay for six more weeks, OK?”  -Signed, Smug Mommy

Only two more weeks to repack the trunk for sleep away camp part deux. But first I’ve got to fill some backpack, please pitch in https://www.facebook.com/MontclairOperationBackpack/  

Talk soon … BMK

Helping always helps

Whew for the last 9 months I've been waiting for life to slow down.  Each month I have proclaimed that the next month will be better or if I just make it through these next two months I'll be good.  Well surprise surprise I have been wrong every time.  Still, I'm hopeful August will be the sweet spot!

Ok so I'm committed to being delusional.  But my brain needs a break from constantly tackling crisis and managing projects (and people, aka family).  Last year around this town, I was frantically wrapping up what was perhaps my worst job ever.  I couldn't wait to get it done, but I was grinding hard to make my last consultant payment big. My last week of conducting trainings, I powered through my headache and sore throat.  I went through packs of Hall cough drops daily.  But I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  Then just in for my family reunion and birthday celebrations, I went down.  A cold turned into a sinus infection and then a C. diff infection.  I was laid out and not able to eat for weeks.  The weight loss was great!!  But there went my August and by the time I was well it was time to drown in the paperwork and errands of starting a first grader in a new school.

But while I was sucking on cough drops I found one spot of sunshine.  I was flipping through a magazine and learned about Operation Backpack.  It was a simple concept, buy a backpack fill it with supplies and donated it to a homeless kid.  It seemed like the easiest thing in the world compared to everything else on my to do list.  And if you know me you know that aiding kids who need a hand up is my passion (kids that are brats are my cryptonite!) So it wasn't enough for me to donate a backpack, I decided to recruit, friends, family and strangers to do the same.  The result was a donation of 30 backpacks!

It was a lot of work and a lot of trips to target to buy supplies on behalf of others, pick up backpacks all over town and double check that all supplies were included.  I was so weak by the end that I had to recruit a friend to sit assist in the labeling before the final drop off.  But it was the one thing that made me happy every day. And I was happy to be able to demonstrate the joy of charity work to Duckie.  So now I'm counting down the days until I get to do it again!

Luckily for me that day is Monday (July 11th) and this year I've got two collections spots in town (though I'll still pick up from you if you like) and a crowdrise site for those who prefer to contribute money toward filling a backpack. Backpacks go to kids at Volunteer of America Shelters in northern New Jersey and in NY City. So stay tuned details will be posted by Monday.

10 Best

I was speaking to my much older brother (jokes) on Father's Day and he mentioned that my nephew would be turning 16 soon.  As we started down the usual path of my how time flies, I stopped and said, "well I hope you told him this is it. He's got 10 good years!"

You remember my brother, right?

We went on to analyze the triumphs of turning 16 and enjoying the last year's of high school (in our case that meant partying). Then moving on to the freedom and independence that college brings (aka better parties) and then the joy and ignorance which is early twenties (parties every night of the week). That's when you think you are grown, but you are still having a lot of fun and that's the first sign that you are not grown!

We reminisced about turning 25 and being able to rent a car with no hassles and more importantly get into the 25 and over clubs (do those still exist?).  At any rate, I know I did it up right in my 10 Best.  Everything wasn't coming up roses all the time, and the scars of romantic trauma may live on indefinitely, but damn I had fun! 

I once had to make a list of goals for this very serious seminar and I listed as my main goal to, have fun and be fun". This goal was not welcomed enthusiastically by the 40 somethings leading the seminars.  I of course thought, you don't get it because you haven't committed to having fun.  Fun is a state of mind a choice. So, just choose it!

Fast forward to 41 years old and fun is definitely a choice.  The only problem is all the other choices that have to be made for me and my family.  Oh there is certainly still fun to be had.  Just ask anyone sitting near my crew at the Beyonce concert (correction, standing cause sitting down would have been heresy).  But that fun required two or more months of planning. 

School ends tomorrow and I've been counting down to the start of summer as if I was the student.  Now it's here and I realize I've planned a summer of fun for Duckie and diddly squat for me.  I saved, begged and borrowed to give her a summer to remember (sleep away camp then day camp then sleep away camp again).  But when I think about summer plans for myself, I'm much less willing to come up with the cash.

So this is a wake up call to myself and to anyone else out there.  Let's choose fun, no matter how much planning it requires.  We owe it to ourselves to show the next generation that an old school party is a new school party and a new school party don't stop! (Sing it with me).

Right, so 4 minutes left before school pick up. I've got to run, but hit me up if you want to participate in some summer FUN. Talk soon ... BMK

So, what do you do for, ummm … like work?

Many people ask me, “What do you do?”  Or, “So what are you doing now?  And the classic, “Are you looking for work?”  And I realize most people, even friends and family don’t realize what I do. 

Here’s what I do:  I buy real estate, I fix it up and I rent it out.  Sometimes as normal apartments and in the case of one property as a vacation rental home in Florida.  Then when a better deal comes along and I need money, I sell a property and buy a new one. Repeat process.  Also, I parent… I’m not looking for work … at the current time.

As an entrepreneur, unless you have received venture capital funding, people often mistake your flexible schedule as a work-free one.  I’m used to that because I’ve always felt happier working from home than in an office.  Aside from the comforts of home, its simple math.  If you are capable of managing yourself, you will have more productive hours at home than at any office.  Once you subtract the time for small talk and useless meetings, your office work day is usually cut in half.  

As the Queen of Efficiency, I prefer to get my work done in solid shifts and then on-the-go via technology.  So for example here was my day yesterday:

6:00 am up and doing Pilates while Hubby ran on the treadmill (this is purely of gesture of spousal support and by no means a recommendation to wake up at an ungodly hour)

6:45 am back in bed, because it’s too damn early 

7:30 am up and dressed and cleaning kitchen, eating breakfast, doing kids hair and helping with homework, also checking emails on phone

8:55 am 25 minute walk to/from school to drop off kid 

9:30am  PTA meeting postponed, drive to YMCA (because back pain told me not walk)  pay for kids swim team, register kid for day camp 

10:00 am 10:45 Swim Class (my back was happy I came) 

11:00 am CVS consult with pharmacist about nasal spray not covered by insurance, while checking emails 

11:15 am call Sherwin Williams to see if they have my paint in yet 

11:30 am go to Sherwin Williams and pick up 10 gallons of paint for 2 family house I’m having renovated before renting it out

12 noon go grocery shopping while talking to contractor on the phone about issues with water heaters (we bought the wrong ones), kitchen cabinet installation (light switch is in the way, electrician wants $1000 to move, me say no way), additional paint needed, additional renovation needed in basement

1:00 pm drop off paint at renovation site, talk with workman about alternative options for cabinet installation, watch him punch holes in walls and point to wires I don’t see.  Discuss need for additional floor tiles he forgot to ask for on my second run to the tile store

1:45 pm home to unload groceries, make lunch, eat lunch

2:00 pm make to do list and check emails on computer which I couldn’t reply to on the go, schedule doctor’s appointments for Duckie, update Google Calendar, notify tenant in Florida of end of lease, curse New Jersey Financial aid site for never allowing me to log in easily to check the status of the child’s financial aid application and Hubby’s 18 year old mentee for never giving me the right login info (teenagers!!!) 

3:00 pm get on Facebook and respond to messages, post to groups and schedule event 

3:20 pm drive to school for pick up (because back/hip are really killing me now) 

3:30 pm sit on playground and talk to a parent while kids play, respond to Hubby’s various phone calls and questions 

4:15 pm take Duckie to Starbucks for mommy/daughter date and then go to the library 

5:30 pm come home and make dinner 

6:00 pm eat dinner 

7:00 pm drop kid at neighbors, go to renovation site with Hubby, load two giant water heaters into truck, return to them to Home Depot.  Buy new ones and repeat process in reverse 

8:15 pm pick up kid from neighbors 

8:45 pm get kid to bed, reply to emails and text on phone while watching news 

9:00 pm watch show from DVR with Hubby 

9:30 pm turn off TV and plan to go to bed 

9:50 pm finally get off couch after talking to hubby about efficient strategies for tracking his work in Excel spreadsheets 

10:20 pm read on Kindle 

10:40 pm lights out, rue the day I agreed to wake up at 6am to work out with “him”

And then I woke up this morning (same ungodly hour) and started doing it all again.  But of course I left a little time to write you this blog post J

The Queen of Efficiency aka Busy Mom Kimya aka KiKi (at Starbucks for efficiency) has got to go buy more damn paint!!!   Talk soon … BMK

p.s. please subscribe using the buttons below or to the right of this post.

#Ihatethewait

So I've finally got out from under the sleep away camp paperwork that is akin to the college application process, and I'm ready to start planning a trip.  But every night I turn on the news and the top story is about insane lines at airport security!

I received an email from United Airlines just before spring break recommending I arrive at the airport at least 2 hours before my flight departure due to security delays.  Now airlines are suggesting at least 3 hours.  I am a strong believer in avoiding waiting.  Sitting in an airport for no good reason, is tops on my list of things I'd like to do after I've pulled out all my eyelashes and read several scientific white papers.  I do my best to arrive no more than an hour before my flight.  I check in on-line and unless its free, I don't check a bag.  So the only possible hold up for me, would be the security line.

Duckie and I did spend a longer than usual time getting through security on our flight to Florida, but the line was contained within the TSA area.  Recent reports are showing lines that go out toward the parking lot at some airports.  I love waiting on lines, just like I love the sound of nails on the chalkboard.  So just watching the news has made me question my desire to plan a trip that requires air travel.  And a road trip is just a line of cars taking forever to go somewhere they could have gotten faster by plane!

So I have a problem in need of a solution.  Luckily, I've found two options.  Hopefully one of them will work for you as well and we can get to going!

Option 1: TSA PreCheck 
Like me, you may have stood in the regular security line looking at that empty lane next to you, where occasionally, a stray person strolls up and just speeds right through the security screening.  Or perhaps you've even been as lucky as we were when Duckie was still in stroller.  We got waived through to that speedy lane.  Boy, do I miss the stroller travel days (sigh).  Well that lane is the TSA PreCheck lane.  And its the only way to avoid the current crazy.  But they will no longer waive you through because you have a stroller or some other sympathy worthy predicament.  You must have TSA PreCheck clearance.

The good news is clearance is relatively easy to get.  Just go online to complete the application.  Then schedule an appointment at a local enrollment center and pay $85.  Approval takes 2-3 weeks and your clearance last for 5 years.  Kids 12 and under do not need clearance, but can still accompany you through the PreCheck lane.  You'll receive a Known Traveler Number (KTN) which you'll add to all your frequent flyer profiles and each airline reservation you make.  This will enable a clearance indication on your boarding pass (paper or mobile) that allows you to use the special lanes at 160 airports. Check here to see if your nearest airport and the airlines you use frequently are included.

So for $170, Hubby, Duckie and I could avoid security lines when traveling domestically for five years.  I believe time is money, so that's a pretty sweet deal.  But what about international travel?  You can use the TSA PreCheck clearance to depart the US but it does nothing for you at customs/border control when re-entering the country.  So then what?

Option 2: Global Entry
The Global Entry program is another Trusted Traveler program offered by Homeland Security.  It allows for expedited movement through customs/border control when returning to the US and when entering a few other countries. Members scan their fingers at a kiosk and complete a customs declaration, then they can head to baggage claim.  And bonus, TSA PreCheck clearance is also included in the 5 year term.  So naturally it cost more, $100.  And, children of all ages must have their own Global Entry clearance to reap the benefits.  You can apply on-line for pre-approval (background check). Then you must schedule an appointment at an enrollment center within 30 days (and complete the appointment within 90 days).

So for Hubby, Duckie and me that's $300 for 5 years of avoiding security and customs lines.  Not as nice as $170 (or even better no lines to begin with) but the value increases every time we travel.

So which one is right for you?  Or will you just stand around playing Candy Crush?

Choose carefully, once you are approved for TSA PreCheck you can't just add $15 and move up to Global Entry.  You will have to pay the full $100 and go through the whole application process.

Well, I guess I just found some new paperwork to get started on.   Not traveling is simply not an option, if I wish to remain somewhat mentally stable.  Gotta go retrieve passports and figure out how not to pay $200 a ticket to sit in the cheap seats and watch my Seattle Seahawks (oh the insanity of it all)!
Talk soon ..... BMK

p.s. please subscribe using the buttons below or to the right of this post.

Why Browse When You could Extension? (Say, What Now??)

I think I’m offended by term browsing.  Oh are you browsing the Internet? No!  I’m getting things done!  I realize using a “browser” like GoogleChrome for “browsing,” is an actual thing that people do.  Me, I suck at browsing.  My eyes get tired my head starts to hurt and next thing you know I’m sleeping.

The closest I can get to browsing is on-line shopping or reading the news.  But still, I’ll go to Amazon.com to search for something I need, or want, and by the 5^th product I’m like, “Oh geez make it stop and just tell which one is the best for the best price!”  Thank God for filters or I’d never buy anything.  I need to see only Prime, only 4 star or higher reviews and under a specific price.  Only then can I attempt to scroll.

When it comes to reading the news, it’s even worse.  I love news.  I need a daily dose.  I currently rely on The Huffington Post app for much of it.  But if I open a story and takes me to a lengthy magazine article.  Click.  Window closed.  I cannot look into the light long enough to absorb the information being transmitted.  Believe it or not I was a journalism major. So it’s even more shameful that I can’t read an in-depth article.  But I was taught to get the main point or at least the hook in the first paragraph of your article to keep them reading.  Well that hasn’t happened in this post.  So I guess, I’m just the pot calling the kettle black.  “Hey Kettle!  Looking good!”

So right, I can’t browse.  I use my browser for work.  That could be business work, family work, household work, whatevs.  I don’t have to worry about being distracted by Facebook because after a few scrolls, I’d have to click away to stay awake.  Instead, I make use of a great feature of Chrome, it’s called extensions.  Hopefully, you are using them as well.  If not, today is your lucky day. 

If you are like me, and you just want tools to help you browse more efficiently then extensions are for you.  If you are not like me, and you want to have more fun things to do online, then extensions are also for you.  So what are they and how do you get them?

What are they?

Per Google, Chrome Extensions are, “small programs that add new features to your browser and personalize your browsing experience."

For example my favorite extension is Honey.  Honey says, “Oh, I see you are shopping.  Would you like me to enter all possible discount codes for this site before you checkout?”  Um, heck yeah I would.  My newest extension is from Ebates, the site that lets you earn money from the things you are already buying.  Instead of logging into Ebates and looking to see if the store you want is offering an Ebate, just go directly to the store site and the extension will pop up to ask you if you like to activate the savings.  Again, yes please! Amazon also has an extension that lets you see the price of the item on Amazon while you’re shopping at another store’s site. Or you can add a non-Amazon item to your Amazon wishlist.  Me likey.  It sucks to buy something online and then discover there was a coupon code in your email box you overlooked.  These extensions help to avoid that problem.

 

I’ve also got extensions that work with Google applications.  Like one that opens documents from Google Drive in their respective office program (i.e. Google Slides opens in Power Point).  Another allows me to quickly send whatever is on my browser to my Chromecast connected to my TV. Google Hangouts so I can chat with all my lovelies with just the click of a button. Google Keep so I can add whatever is on my screen to my to do list.  And of course my Google Music in case I need a little Lemonade ;-)

I have a few more, but there are a lot less boring ones you could have too.  Would you like to see a beautiful background every time you open a new tab, you can (Earth View extension).  Or you could see cats (Tabby Cats extension).  Your choice.  I’m not judging (but I am).  Or you can watch Netflix online with friends (still trying really hard not to judge … failing).

How do you get it?

Ok back in the judgement free zone it’s so easy to get an extension.  Open Chrome and go here.  Bam!  Browse away, filter by category or search.  Find something interesting and click.  Then chose add to chrome.  Most extensions are free.  I only know about free, because it’s for me.  That’s it you’ve got your extension now.  

You can see it in the upper right hand corner of the Chrome browser window.  You can also view them in the settings menu on the extensions tab.  Here you can enable/disable or delete them.  You can also search for more extensions from the settings/extensions area.

Well, I’ll leave you to your cats then.  Just please don’t drag any of their hair over here.  Thanks.  I have to go not browse.  Talk soon … BMK

p.s. please subscribe using the buttons below or to the right of this post.

Feminist Frustration

I’ve never burned a bra, though I’d love to burn them all because I hate wearing them.   I don’t hate men I’m quite fond of them actually).  I don’t wear make up most of the time, because I’m too lazy to get up earlier and do that.  And yet, I call myself a feminist.  Hubby calls me an, Angry Black Feminist, because of which he says the 2008 primary election between Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton was my worst nightmare.  He’s not wrong.

Yup.  None of this is true.

To me identifying as a feminist is important because being a woman is hard!  Yesterday, Duckie went to take your child to work day.  It used to be take your daughter to work day.  But now we are supposed to pretend that the need of a young boy to be able to envision himself with a successful career is as great as a girls.  That’s B.S. 

When I was in 5^th grade, a teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I confidently said, “A chef!”  She told me that was a job for a man.  That was 30 years ago.  Today, some of our top celebrity chefs are women.  But have you noticed how most of them pretend they are cooking in their home kitchens (fully made up), while the men have the top restaurants and host the cooking competition shows?

Do I think there is a big conspiracy to keep women down?  No (unless we are talking politics, the yes).  But I think attitudes change slowly and most people are unaware of their biases.  Also, women are major contributors to the anti-feminist movement.  In my 20s I interviewed for a job at a company for which I had previously worked.  I had a great reputation and since leaving had more experience related to the position to which I was applying.  I did not get the job. Later I found out from my old boss (not the interviewer or head of the new department) that I did not get the job because the department head, a middle aged woman, was afraid I might decide to have children soon.  I was not married, didn’t even have a serious boyfriend, but this was her fear.  And to be clear, even if I was those things, I still should have gotten the job.  Had I not had the inside track, I would never have known why I did not get the job.  Instead my confidence would have taken a big hit and potentially discouraged me from applying for similar jobs. 

A recruiter once told me one of her female clients was not hired because the interviewer did not like her nail polish color.  I’ve been in countless management meetings about the likelihood that a woman would have a baby, or choose not to return after maternity leave.  These discussions determined which projects they were chosen to work on and who was up for promotions.  This is where the angry part comes in.  It’s pretty hard to be aware of all these daily injustices and not be angry.  

As a black woman, I get to add racial bias to female bias when I have to determine if my performance was the cause of a setback or if it’s something out of my control.  I’ve also always been told I look a lot younger than I am.  So we can throw ageism in the mix too.  Because often in the workplace young = dumb.

Ah, so many reasons for me to avoid corporate America.  If only that were effective.  But there is a woman running for president.  She has more experience at governing, policy making and crisis management than any other candidate in my lifetime.  But no matter, lets debate whether she is talking too loud, why she chose that outfit, her age and for good measure lets says she unqualified. 

Beyonce’s Lemonade visual album has social media and entertainment media ablaze.  Mostly attempting to confirm who her husband Jay-Z must have cheated with to prompt her to make an album about adultery (as well as female strength and unity, racism, and family, but those topics aren’t salacious enough for discussion).  Because it’s simply not possible that as an artist (like say an actor) that a female entertainer singing about relationship problems is not using her imagination instead of personal experience.  Taylor Swift knows all about this.  Because God forbid she writes a song and it’s not about an ex-boyfriend (which the world has also decided she has too many of. She’s doing what a 20 something is supposed to do … date!).  I’m mean we do know that Billy Jean was not his lover and the kid was not his son, right?! 

But there is hope.  My Duckie loves super heroes and princesses.  She hunts with daddy, cooks with mommy and swims with both of us.  She comes with us to look at potential properties and gives her investment advice.  She is a constant advocate for I can do anything a boy can do and anything a girl can do.

Once Duckie recovered from the news that Obama does not get to be president forever, she wanted to know who was running to replace him.  As she watched the male faces come up on the TV screen, she quickly yelled, “Well why can’t it be a woman?!).  I was pleased to say, “It can be!” 

Alrighty then, I’m sure if I look hard enough I can find a bra to burn, feel free to send donations.  This girl is on fire.  Talk soon…. BMK

Please subscribe using the links to the right or below. Thanks!